Two new blogs I'm working on....

I've been putting a lot of time into each, with more to come. Hopefully Jamie will let me live.

Reviewyou.net - a blog that reviews anything - for free! Go there and request a review of your blog, picture, idea, book, whatever.

PYSIH.com - People You'll See In Hell v2.0

It may look like I'm not doing anything...

...but behind the scenes, I'm doing a lot of design work.

I bought yet another domain name, on which I hope I can build a website that can take advantage of a particular "hook" I've thought up.

Two of the sites I can do in Wordpress, but I'd like to create a nice-looking unique theme for them with Dreamweaver. The other site, I'd have to do in Dreamweaver.

Anyone have a spare 500 bucks for a copy of Adobe Web CS3 Premium?

Plus the $150 or so for the web hosting?

Anyone?

Why do you deny me?

Blogs that I read on a daily basis

I love reading The Simple Dollar blog. The guy is a constant source of good financial tips, and presents the info in a wonderful style. He's buying a house now, and is kind of in the same situation I'm in (without the stress of having the house built) so I'm enjoying keeping up with his activity.

The Consumerist blog is a great daily read. Multiple daily updates about companies that screw their customers as well as companies that take care of their customers.

Biting political commentary for Nebraska issues can be found at the Plains Feeder blog. Funny stuff. Probably be a good bunch to invite over for a beer while they fix your retaining wall.

Problogger is also a daily read for me. Great writing, easy to understand tips and hints on how to make your blog all it can be. Great commentary as well, with many experienced commentators all jumping in with their opinions on various topics.

Tyler Cruz is a young guy with a blog who's trying to make a living off the internet. It's fun to read about his experiences and watch his ideas unfold. He's had some success, but can he make it to the big time? Keep reading I guess.

Part of a network of great photo sites is the Omaha Daily Photo blog. It's just what it says it is.

If you have any more blogs about Nebraska, Omaha or Law Enforcement, send me a link. I'll check it out and write about it here.

Write to seeyouinhellguy@gmail.com

It's true, you know.

It's true.

Correctional officers are called, on a daily basis, everything but a child of god.

People who are incarcerated don't like being told what to do. When you look at it from their perspective, it's understandable.

It's hard for many of them to go from almost total freedom to satisfy their id, to a situation where someone, acting as a representative of "the man," is telling them to stop walking on the top tier of the housing unit, or to keep their shirt on while they're out in the dayroom.

It makes some people a bit tense until they settle into the flow of things.

Some people never settle.

Those are the people who end up locked down for the majority of their stay in our fine institution.

For those people, a few words:

While I may indeed be an "asshole," I am the asshole who is telling you the way it's going to be.

I'm the asshole who is going home tonight to my sleeping family, a microwaved hot pocket, possibly some hetero sex and maybe a hot shower.

You are the asshole who is going to stay in this room until the morning shift decides to let you out. You're the asshole who is unable to make a phone call whenever you want. You're the asshole who can't enjoy Taco Bell's new breakfast menu.

Just so we're clear.

Incommunicado - Updated!

The wife and I took the kids swimming last night in the apartment complex pool. We took two inflatable plastic inner tubes so Logan and Owen could float around. Had a big fight about this huge plastic ball I wanted to take, but she didn't.

Grabbed my phone, a few towels, the ball, my shoes, and Logan (who weighs 29 pounds now at 1 year.) We walk to the pool and get ready. Owen's already in the pool, so I throw my shirt down onto the table nearby, and jump in.

As I'm entering the pool, I realize that my phone is still in my pocket.

Being the smart person that I am, I realize that this pool is full of water - which, while refreshing to people and assorted animals, is absolutely deadly to both electrical devices and the aliens from Alien Nation.

If you've ever tried to bathe a cat (a wonderfully exciting venture which I highly recommend at least once in everyone's life) then you've seen how that cat will do anything - anything to avoid getting into that water. They immediately grow 3 more legs, with claws, that will latch onto the side of whatever is holding the offending liquid.

That's what I tried to do in the .132 seconds I had until I hit the water.

So now I need to go pick up a new phone from Verizon.

Stupid me.

**UPDATED**

Got a new phone. $185 for the thing. Purchased the $5 a month insurance on it, so if there are any further mishaps, I'll get a free one.

Can I drop off a teenager?

You know how Japan has just recently opened a baby drop box? No?

Well, evidently some Japanese are tired of people being wasteful and just throwing their unwanted babies away, so they opened a drop-off box by the Catholic-run Jikei Hospital in the southern city of Kumamoto.

The folks who opened this felt that having a safe place to anonymously leave an unwanted baby would discourage abortions and the abandonment of children in unsafe public places.

On the very first day a three-year-old boy was found inside.

Some people just have to ruin things for everyone else.

He claimed his father brought him there. "I came with Daddy," he said.

Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe said, "Anonymously throwing out a child is unacceptable."

It has been decided that no crime was committed because the toddler was not left in a dangerous situation.

Mr. President, we must not allow a baby drop-off box gap!

Hearthstone Homes pours some concrete...

Looks like they poured our driveway, our front porch and the walkway.

Our lot is getting more and more sloped. Looks like we might have to put some kind of retaining wall in eventually. Maybe some dirt. Our backyard WILL BE FLAT!

I am more impressed with the view out back now that it's summer and things are nice and green.

Can't wait for them to start framing.

I hope our neighbors are nice.

More info on Omaha's Rosenblatt stadium

Mayor Fahey and representatives from the NCAA met at City Hall on Tuesday to discuss the fate of Omaha's Rosenblatt stadium and talk about how a new, shiny stadium would satisfy everyone's craving to spend money.

The new stadium, which is as good as built, will encompass six city blocks and provide amenities such as a heated grass field, updated locker rooms, a state-of-the-art sound system, and robot butlers to cater to the whims of the people rich enough to afford tickets.

For those of us fearful of the possibility of cost overruns with this project, Mayor Fahey has pointed out his plan to use as much of Rosenblatt's current setup as possible. The Rosenblatt statue, for example, will be transplanted to the new stadium. Fahey also mentioned something about putting Rosenblatt's new video display in his living room.

Alan Stein, the President of the Omaha Royals, wasn't allowed to sit at the grown-up table quite yet, but with the donation of a few million dollars to the project by the Royal's organization, is expected to be able to leave the kids' table "real soon now."

Rosenblatt getting the axe

Mayor Fahey took a stand last week and decided that after dropping $35 million over the last 15 years into the 59-year-old Rosenblatt Stadium, Omaha taxpayers have finally spent enough money on baseball in Omaha.

Oh, wait. No he didn’t.

Mr. Fahey has decided, in his infinite wisdom, that Omaha needs to spend about $50 million and build a new stadium between the Qwest Center and Creighton University, after which the Rosenblatt stadium will be completely and utterly destroyed.

This new stadium, the name of which will probably be The Mike Fahey Knows Best Stadium will seat 9000, so both of the Royals’ fans better get cracking on their Myspace friends lists.

For those of you who enjoy the College World Series, there will be enough space for 16,000 more seats to be slapped down and sold to those suckers who think baseball is a real sport.

What makes me chuckle is that Fahey didn’t bother telling the Omaha Royals that he was planning on doing this. This surprised the Royals management, who, while probably being happy that they get a stadium that won’t reveal how few people actually go to Royals games, want to make sure they get accommodations that they don’t have to share with the CWS guys.

I would imagine that the conversation between the Mayor and Omaha Royals President Alan Stein went something like this:

Stein: Mayor, what about Leia and the Wookiee?

Fahey: They must never again leave this city.

Stein: That was never a condition of our agreement, nor was giving Hanto this bounty hunter!

Fahey: Perhaps you think you’re being treated unfairly.

Stein: No.

Fahey: Good. It would be unfortunate if I had to leave a garrison here.

Stein: This deal’s getting worse all the time.

What's been going on?

Well after a stint at another blog where I was told I was far too negative to represent Omaha, I told them to pound sand and find someone else to be Omaha's cheerleader.

Which they did.

And that's that!

The house construction is progressing nicely. I've been hearing rumors about there being framing materials on-site, so I'll head on over there tomorrow and take some pictures.

My parents have decided to sell their house in California and build a house here in Omaha. They've decided on the subdivision of Manchester Park, which looks like a very nice area. I'll follow the building of that house as well.

As a way of apology for my lack of updates, let me share this with you: Indian Thriller!

Paris Hilton and jail

As I'm sure everyone and their mother knows, Ms. Paris Hilton is headed to jail for 45 days.

Was she singled out? I'm sure she was. Her attitude was probably not properly respectful towards the judge - the one man she needed to win over in the room at the time. She has a long history of acting as if she were above the law. She has money. Her parents have money. She's famous, young and pretty.

I would not be surprised if she ended up dead before she saw her 36th birthday. She's not exactly living a life geared towards longevity.

I'm also sure that people are going to be slightly curious about what her stay is going to be like. Is she going to be someone's bitch? Is she going to get beaten up? Her stuff stolen? Is she going to starve?

Probably not.

Although I can't know for sure as to how the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood - a women-only jail is run, if the jail administrators have any sense, they'll place her in their PC housing unit. PC stands for protective custody.

Inmates are put into PC whenever they are at risk of being victimized by other inmates. Typically child molesters, snitches, and high-profile inmates are the types of folks who are placed into protective custody.

She'll be in her own room.

She'll get about an hour's worth of recreation a day, during which time she'll be able to use the phone, take a shower, walk around. She will probably have recreation time alone.

She'll have to clean her own room.

She will probably lose weight, but she'll be able to order food items from the jail's commissary provider every week - so she'll be snacking well enough.

It simply isn't in the jail's best interest to let her out among the general population or to give her a roommate. Jail personnel really do prefer to avoid fights and conflicts - it just creates more work.

We'll see how she takes it in a few weeks. Hopefully it ends up changing her for the better.

My son's imaginary puppy.

He's almost three now, and he's got himself his first imaginary friend.

It's a puppy.

He has named it "pee-pee puppy."

When he tells complete strangers about his pee pee puppy, he explains that it's very fast, it likes to hide, and it fits nicely in the palm of his hand.

Often, when he is introducing his pee pee puppy, he'll hold his hand out and ask if they want to pet it.

Jamie's face is priceless to behold when these interactions take place.

Another Hearthstone Homes progress update

Hmmm. Looks like our lot might end up having a slight slope from left down to right. That would be unfortunate. It doesn't look like a lot of slope, but I'd rather have NO slope.

Of course, there's a HUGE pile of dirt on the lot to our left and they might use that to level out both our lot and the lot to our right. We'll see.

We're not quite ready to move our stuff in yet, as you can see, they've only just put in the concrete for the basement floor.

We went to NFM last night with our Berkshire Hathaway passes and ordered two couches for the family room, a refrigerator for the kitchen, a very large and MANLY bed for the master bedroom, and a table and chair set for the "breakfast nook."

Delivery, according to NFM, needs to be within 60 days. Because the house isn't going to be finished in 60 days, we'll have to call and reschedule the deliveries.

If Jamie forgets to do this, we'll have NFM delivering all these things to a house that, at that time, might not have a roof.

You think you want an execution?

Due to the Nebraska Supreme Court issuing a stay on the execution of Carey Dean Moore, Nebraska will probably be looking for a new way to execute the folks who take it upon themselves to do really, really nasty things to other people.

Nebraska Attorney General Jon Bruning thinks Nebraska lawmakers should consider changing Nebraska's form of execution to help reduce the number of appeals. He said it could be at least a year before another execution date is set for Moore.

"I don't fault the Supreme Court. I don't think what they did was wrong because I trust them as lawyers and judges. But, we've got a process here in Nebraska that's starting to look like it's just broken," Bruning said.

You know, he might be right - Nebraska's execution system could possibly be broken.

If it is judged to be broken, unconstitutional even, if lawmakers are going to seriously consider switching our electric chair to another type of execution - then allow me to present a few ideas of potential execution methods for Nebraska.

As you can see here, the executee is kept underneath a large block of some hard, heavy, solid substance. The block is suspended by a rope and pulley system. The larger the block, the more spectacular the result. The best substance for the block would probably be rock, but a large metal safe could be substituted with very little difference in the results. A heavy rope could be used to secure the executee. When the time comes, the executioner cuts the rope.

Although I'm no mechanical engineer, it seems to me that this would be an efficient method of execution. The inmate is sedated and placed in a giant catapult. If a catapult is unavailable, then a trebuchet could be substituted, as long as the proper mathematical work is done to find the proper aim. Once the aim is worked out, the inmate is thrown by the catapult towards a large, sturdy, brick wall.

This is possibly the most visually captivating of all the execution ideas I have submitted today, but then I, the artist, am somewhat biased. As you can see here, the inmate is placed into an area secured by tall walls. Above the inmate are two very heavy, solid blocks of material which are connected to a secure post of some kind by rope. Two executioners wielding traditional japanese katanas cut the ropes, releasing the blocks to swing down and smush the executee.

There you go. Fast, humane, safe, suffer-free methods of execution for Nebraska.

Feel free to send a link to this page to the Nebraska State Supreme Court and the Nebraska Legislature.

They sound like they're short on ideas.

Quick! Eat more chicken!

Make your own KFC sign at KentuckyFriedCruelty.com

Evidently we aren't eating enough chicken in Omaha.

I, for one, will be heading to KFC tonight.